Helping a DJ
by ShortGirlWithAPen
Summary: The normally loud, happy, and confident Holt has seemed to lose these things recently, causing both Jackson and Frankie to worry. Is there any way they can help him? Warnings: self-harm, depression, abuse- in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own Monster High or any of its characters!**

* * *

When someone normally as loud as Holt suddenly becomes quiet, those close to him begin to notice. Of course, Jackson was the first to realize something was going on, having shared a mind and body with him, but it wasn't like he could confront Holt about what was that was going on. Luckily for both Jackson and Holt, their friends were beginning to notice.

On the way to class one morning, Frankie manages to stop Holt, glad to have finally managed to be able to do so. She gently takes his hand and brings him into an empty classroom, meeting his eyes and sighing to herself when she sees the hurt look there.

"Holt, what's going on?" Frankie asks him gently, taking a step toward him. He doesn't try to move away from her, although he closes his eyes so he wouldn't have to meet hers. He opened his eyes a moment later, finally meeting hers. "I'm just worried about you, okay?"

"Nothing's going on, Frankie." Holt tells Frankie quietly, taking a step back from her as if he didn't want to be so close to her at that moment. There wasn't any emotion to his voice. "I'm fine, really. There's nothing for you to be worried about."

Frankie simply looks at Holt for a few moments, trying to decide what exactly what she should say to him. Was there even anything she could say to help the situation? She doubted it, at least for the moment, but she knew she had to at least try. After all, Holt was usually so happy- what could be causing this change in him?

"Pushing me away isn't going to help anything, okay? I can't help you if you don't let me in." Frankie says quietly, remembering to keep her voice gentle. It really wouldn't have helped to let her tone of voice change, not when she needed to stay calm.

"Maybe I don't want help right now." Holt tells Frankie before moving around her and toward the door. There was almost a harsh tone to his voice but Frankie makes herself not to take it personally. Maybe she had just asked at the wrong time, but knew that it needed to be done sooner or later. "Maybe I need to work things out on my own and you shouldn't waste your time worrying about me. I'm going to class."

With that, Holt walks out of the classroom and into the hallway, leaving Frankie there alone. She sighs to herself and leaves the classroom as well, knowing that she needed to go to class as well.

* * *

Throughout the day, Frankie couldn't stop herself from being worried about Holt. He didn't seem any better than when she had talked to him earlier in the day, although it was clear that he was hiding a lot of what going on with him. There was a chance that he simply didn't want anyone to know about it yet.

There was the chance that Frankie needed someone else's help to get him to talk, but would it work? There was a chance that it wouldn't, but she would have to risk it for him. She knew that he was worth it, even if he didn't seem to know that.

Clawdeen nudges Frankie's shoulder then, looking over at her. "Hey ghoul.. What are you thinking about?"

"Holt. There's something going on with him and I'm just worried." Frankie tells Clawdeen quietly, meeting her eyes for a moment before looking away. "He says there's nothing wrong, but I can tell that's not true."

Clawdeen smiles sadly and nods. "Yeah, I agree with you on that. There's something off with him; maybe we can get him some help if we can get him to talk." Clawdeen raises her eyebrows slightly at Frankie.

"I don't know." Frankie says quietly, shrugging slightly. She then looks up, meeting Clawdeen's eyes, worry evident in her eyes. "What if it doesn't work? I just want him to be okay. I know I can help him if he would just accept it- I'm sure he needs to know that much."

"We'll make sure he's alright just as much as we can, okay? That's what we do for each other and Holt's no exception." Clawdeen tells Frankie, managing to smile a bit more at her. "I'll go talk to him with you if you'd like that. "

When Frankie was about to reply to what Clawdeen had said, her iCoffin began to ring. She answered it a moment later, a small smile on her face when she sees that it was Jackson calling.

"Frankie?" Jackson asks her, fear in his voice. Frankie couldn't help but get a bit more worried about the situation. "Something happened with Holt. I need help with this and so does he."

"What's going on Jackson? What happened to him?" Frankie asks, making herself sound more calm than she actually felt. Clawdeen looks at Frankie but doesn't say anything about this, seeing the way that she didn't seem too happy right then.

"I don't think I can answer that over the phone.. Do you think that you can come over?" Jackson asks, his voice shaking slightly though it was obvious that he was trying to keep it from doing so.

"Yeah, I can. Do you mind if Clawdeen maybe comes with me?" Frankie asks, looking at Clawdeen to see if she was okay with that. She nods slightly, causing Frankie to smile a bit in relief.

"That sounds better actually, having more than one of you here." Jackson says and though he knew that neither of them could see him at that moment, he runs a hand through his hair. "I'll see you two soon?"

"Yeah, we'll be there." Frankie says before hanging up the phone and looking over at Clawdeen. "It was Jackson; something's going on with Holt. He didn't tell me what but I think it's something urgent."

* * *

When Frankie and Clawdeen get to Jackson's house not long later, Jackson opens the door with his hands shaking slightly. He invites them in and Frankie doesn't hesitate to stay close to him. He seemed almost scared about what had happened but Frankie does her best to stay calm for him.

"Someone has to confront Holt about everything." Jackson says after a few moments of quiet. He meets Frankie's eyes as he speaks, focusing on what he needed to tell them right then. This action seemed to calm him slightly as he takes Frankie's hand. "He's really hurting and I can't help him or else I would."

"Well do you have any idea of what he's been doing?" Clawdeen asks Jackson gently, not wanting to upset him. "That way we can help him more with the situation and it won't only be on you."

Jackson looks at the ground and nods slightly in response to Clawdeen, not wanting to meet either one of their eyes at that moment. His next move just about broke Frankie's heart along with Clawdeen's, carefully rolling his sleeve up to show fresh marks on his arm.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry for this ending! I'll make sure to update soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Jackson.." Frankie says quietly, looking at him. Jackson's hands were shaking slightly and he wouldn't look up at the two ghouls. "Can you look at me? I'm not going to hurt you; this isn't your fault."

Jackson shakes his head at Frankie's words, messing with his hands nervously. "I should have been able to do something about it. Made it harder for him to do something like this." he says quietly, slowly looking up to meet Frankie's eyes. "This is scary, Frankie.. What if he does something else?"

"We'll keep making sure Holt's alright." Frankie assures Jackson gently, meeting his eyes. He manages a small, genuine smile for her and she was glad to see it there. "We can make sure that he's not alone for a while if that makes you feel any better about it."

Jackson nods slightly and continues to meet her eyes before looking away. He then shakes his head slightly and sighs to himself. "It might some but that would be better than nothing, wouldn't it?" he asks quietly, his eyes wide as he looks at the two ghouls. Part of him didn't want to have his mother walk in on the conversation for them to have some privacy but another part of him wanted her to know so he could have that much more help. "This doesn't just affect Holt, you know. These things show up on me too. Whenever he hurts, it hurts me too."

"We're going to make sure Holt's okay, Jackson." Clawdeen tells him gently, a small smile on her face as she meets his eyes. She stays calm as she speaks, not wanting to make anything worse than it already was as she didn't know if it would have affected anything there. "If you notice anything changing with him, then tell us, okay?"

Jackson smiles and nods slightly at Clawdeen. "Alright. I'll try to help as much as I can." he says, his voice going quiet. This gets a nod from both ghouls, glad that he would be trying to help them out with the situation.

* * *

The days go by with Frankie and Clawdeen both keeping a close watch on Holt as well as Jackson, wanting to make sure that they were both alright. Holt seemed less and less happy as the days went by and they knew that they needed to do something about this and fast. It wasn't like he was hiding it very well anymore, not like he had in the beginning, and in a way, couldn't that mean that things were getting worse? Either way, Frankie knew they needed to do something now more than ever.

Holt had been with one of the guys almost every time either Frankie and Clawdeen had seen him. Neither of them knew if they knew about what was going on with him but they were still glad that he was with others.

Frankie smiles at Holt as she catches up to him at the end of class, seeing that he was alone for the moment. "Hey. Would you be willing to talk for a bit?" she asks him gently, hoping that he would agree to it. She was sure that relief showed on her face when he slowly nods at her. "Come on, let's go find somewhere more private."

Holt smiles a bit more as they find somewhere they could be alone. It was simply an empty classroom, but both Holt and Frankie were glad for it. Frankie knew that they wouldn't be overheard and Holt knew that it was just her talking to him right then, although being alone with her was making him nervous. Did Jackson say something to her about anything? He knew that he might have, but Holt just didn't want her to have to worry about him.

Holt closes his eyes tightly and runs a hand through his hair. He knew that Frankie was beginning to notice that there was something going on with him- he was glad for this fact but it would just mean that she would be worried about him, something he didn't want to happen. It was already enough that Jackson was worried about him, but that wasn't something he could help too much.

"What's going on, Holt? The truth this time." Frankie asks him gently. She was trying to be reassuring, and he could tell that much, but it was making him nervous. How much did she know about what was going on with him? Surely she didn't know about what he had been doing, but there wasn't any way he could know what Jackson had told her.

"I don't know." Holt says quietly, looking up to meet her eyes. He reaches out to take her hand, squeezing it gently when he does take it. "I don't know what's wrong with me. All I know is that this isn't right."

"Holt.." Frankie says quietly, gently cupping his cheek. He closes his eyes as she touches him but leans into the touch a moment later. "You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm not going to hurt you. I care about you too much to do something like that."

Holt nods slightly and pulls Frankie into a tight hug. He closes his eyes as she runs a hand through his hair, being as gentle as she could about it. She knew that to hurt him right then could do more than just a bit of damage to him.

"Are you ready to tell me about this?" Frankie asks gently as Holt pulls back, glancing at his arm for a moment. He just shrugs slightly and looks away from her. "It's okay if you're not. I'm not going to force you to tell me anything."

"Then what are you here for? Why haven't you left me yet?" Holt asks quietly, continuing to look away. There was a hint of anger in his voice but he forced himself to not try to do anything that would hurt her. "I"m sure that I've given you enough reason to, more than enough."

"Holt, look at me." Frankie says, slowly getting him to meet her eyes. She sighs to herself when she sees the amount of hurt and anger in his eyes. "I'm not leaving because I care about you." Frankie takes Holt's free hand then, continuing to meet his eyes. "I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it. I don't care how many times that is."

"Maybe you're the only one that actually does care about me. Everyone else has reason enough to hate me." Holt whispers, a tone of defeat in his voice. He looks away once again and closes his eyes.

"That is not true. We're all so worried about you, Holt. There's so many that care about you- I won't have you talking about yourself like this." Frankie says, squeezing his hands then. "I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. That we all are. Please don't make that fear reality."

"Frankie.." Holt whispers, his voice breaking slightly. "I can't.. What if something happens and I can't do this? If I need to talk about everything and no one wants to be around me anymore?"

"I'll be there for you no matter what happens." Frankie tells Holt, her voice remaining gentle. No matter how much this scared her, she refused to let it show, at least to him. "Whenever you need me, I'm here."

By that point, Frankie couldn't help but notice the way that Holt was shaking. She gently hugs him, not wanting to let him go. He hugs her back tightly, his eyes closed as he tries to keep himself together.

"I should be better than this." Holt says quietly, even though he was still shaking. "Should be stronger.. Why'd this have to happen, Frankie?"

"I don't know why this happened." Frankie tells him just as quietly, not even trying to pull away from him. "But you've got your friends there for you as well as your family. You can't forget Jackson, either."

"Why would Jackson want to help me? Out of everyone, he has the most reason to hate me." Holt whispers, pulling away from her and crossing his arms over his chest. It was almost as if he was trying to protect himself from everything going on. "I can't always make sure everything's alright. I just cause more problems than what's needed. He should hate me."

"Holt, there isn't anyone that can make sure everything's okay every at every moment. You're expecting too much of yourself." Frankie tells him, a small smile on her face. "You cause just as much problems as everyone else. Jackson still cares, Holt, that's how he is. I'm sure you would do the same thing if it was one of us, wouldn't you?" Holt nods slightly at that, meeting her eyes still, smiling a bit at her.

"Of course I would, Frankie. But I can't do that right now, although I need to be able to." Holt says quietly, looking away from her once again. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry about all of this."

"You haven't done anything to apologize for." Frankie tells Holt quietly, staying close to him. She hoped that she was doing the right thing here, but wasn't too sure of herself. "I promise you haven't done anything wrong. Not to me, at least."

Holt shakes his head at that, something in him breaking and hugging Frankie tightly. He begins to cry into her shoulder. The sight of him breaking down broke her heart but she made herself stay calm to be there for him. That's what friends were supposed to do, wasn't it?

It was a while before Holt pulls back from Frankie and meets her eyes. Holt sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts so he could try to explain this all to her. What was there that he could explain and how would he able to do so?

Looking down at his hands, Holt begins to speak, his voice quiet. "A while back, things were happy. And then, I don't know. I couldn't make myself write or focus or anything." He shrugs slightly. "I don't know what happened, Frankie! I just know that I can't do this, I need to be able to be okay again." He goes quiet for a few moments before looking at Frankie. "Will you help me?"

Frankie nods slightly and smiles at Holt, meeting his eyes. "Of course I will. I'm here whenever you need me, okay?" she tells him, smiling a bit more when he nods at her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: There are mentions of abuse in this chapter and a flashback containing it.**

* * *

Throughout the rest of the day, Holt continues to stay quiet. He stays with Frankie as much as he could, although he knew that he would have to leave her to go to class eventually. Part of him wanted to skip class and get some time alone but he wasn't too sure if that was the best thing right then. If Frankie knew about what he had been doing, then who else knew? He was sure that she wouldn't tell anyone what had been going on.

Holt knew that if any of the others had known about what was going on with him, they'd worry far too much about him. He knew that it was only because they cared that they worried about him but he didn't want to take that risk. If they knew what all was going on with him, they would be sure to make sure that he was alright. It wasn't that he didn't want them trying to help him; it was just the fact that he didn't want them to worry about him. Surely, they all had more important things to worry about rather than him.

Clawd had been trying to get Holt to talk to him and it worked to some degree but it wasn't much. He had accidentally overheard Clawdeen talking to Frankie about things happening with Holt but didn't ever catch what exactly it was. He was sure that he would have to talk about this with him but he wasn't sure how easy that would be. Still, it almost seemed to him that Holt could see through what he was trying to do, could see the worry that was surely in his eyes. He was sure that the worry only increased when one of Holt's sleeves rolled up to show some scars on his arm that looked too neat to be accidental.

It was at this moment, when Holt's sleeve pulls up once again that Clawd approaches him, glancing down and catching a glimpse of the scars there before Holt pulls his sleeve down. Holt had caught the way that Clawd seem to see the scars on his arm but hoped that he wouldn't ask about it.

Looking around them and seeing that there were others there, Clawd knows what he needed to do, even if he couldn't do it in front of everyone. He sighs to himself then and looks back at Holt, a small smile on his face.

"Talk to me after school?" Clawd asks Holt then, knowing they would need to talk soon. Holt's eyes go wide then, taking a step back from him, causing Clawd to smile reassuringly at him. "Nothing bad, I promise. It's just a friend talk."

Holt nods slightly and sighs to himself. "Alright. As long as it's nothing bad." he says quietly as he hears the bell and heads to class. He keeps a small smile on his face throughout the day, not wanting anyone else to think that there was something going on with him.

* * *

After school that day, Clawd gets Holt to come over so they could be able to talk to each other. Clawd knows that it wouldn't have looked odd if they were at his house rather at the school while having this talk. After everything that he had noticed that day, he was sure that Holt wasn't wanting others to know about everything that was going on with him- he knows that it couldn't be guaranteed that Holt would tell him anything that had been going on with him recently.

Once they're alone, Clawd looks over at Holt, a small, reassuring smile on his face. "Is everything okay?" he asks gently, meeting Holt's eyes. A moment passes and Holt looks away from him, shaking his head slightly. Clawd takes a step toward Holt, the gentle smile still on his face at that moment.

Holt tries to pull away from Clawd, sure of what would happen if he had seen the full extent of his scars, something that could so easy be shown, especially right then. He knows that the werewolf would start worrying too much about him and he couldn't do anything about it if it happened. Still, Clawd was too quick to let Holt get away from him.

"Holt.. What's going on?" Clawd asks quietly, looking at Holt who doesn't say anything for a while before Clawd says anything else. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Holt nods slightly at Clawd then, sighing to himself. "I know.. I just don't want any of you to think of me differently." he whispers. He then looks at the ground, almost ashamed of what he was saying at that moment. "I want you guys to still think of me as someone that's happy most of the time."

"But you're not?" Clawd asks him, a gentle tone to his voice although he was getting more and more worried by the second. Holt continues to look away from him for a while. "Tell me the truth, Holt."

"I'm not." Holt whispers, slowly looking up to meet Clawd's eyes. There was a bit of fear in his eyes at that moment, even though he knows that it was mainly because he was scared of Clawd not wanting to be around him anymore because of this. "How did you find out about this?"

"I accidentally overheard Clawdeen and Frankie talking about it." Clawd tells Holt honestly. "I haven't told anyone about it, though. I promise."

Holt sighs to himself and nods slightly, meeting Clawd's eyes still. "How much do you know then?" he asks quietly, sounding almost unsure of himself at that moment. "How much am I trusting you with?"

"I know about your scars." Clawd tells Holt then, a hint of a smile on his face. "But that's all I know, really. Anyway, I'm not going to tell anyone about it. That would be your business to tell people and if you did want to explain it to me, I'm not going to stop you but I'm also not going to force you to."

Holt nods slightly at this, looking at the ground and closing his eyes. "Two months." he whispers, messing with his hands. "I've been doing this for two months. Felt terrible about myself and faking happiness for three."

Clawd carefully gets Holt to look at him, wanting so much to be able to help him but knowing that it wouldn't be easy. "I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier." he says quietly.

"You're sorry?" Holt asks, backing up from Clawd and shaking his head. He knew he might have been in the wrong for snapping like this but he couldn't stop it. "No, you shouldn't be that. I'm the one who should be sorry for even letting you guys see it, everything that's happened. I'm the one that had to let Jackson be able to tell there was something going on." It was then that Holt backs off some more and begins to walk away, back to his own house.

* * *

A few hours later, Holt manages to lay back on his bed, closing his eyes and looking more relaxed than he had been in a while. Even though it was somewhat forced, it was better than it had been in a long while. He goes completely quiet, just focusing on listening to the loud music that filled his ears.

Holt couldn't let this show anymore, could he? Frankie and Clawdeen as well as Clawd knew about what he had done and were obviously worried, so he had to get them to stop. The only question was how. He could go get some help, but that would involve others finding out and and worrying more about him. Then again, it would help him figure everything out- if only he could get himself to say something to someone that could actually help him properly.

That wouldn't be a particularly easy conversation and Holt knew that. Who would he talk to about this anyway? He knew that his mom would worry more than was necessary about him. One glance at him with his guard down could tell what exactly was going on with him, the unhappiness that seemed to almost overtake him at every moment.

Holt keeps his eyes closed, not opening them until someone shakes his shoulder, He smiles a bit, looking to see who it was while rubbing at his eyes. He realizes too late that it was his mom- at least in her Jekyll form- and she could see the scars on his arms with the short sleeved shirt he was wearing.

"Holt?" she asks him gently, sitting beside him. There was gentleness in her eyes as well and he was sure that he knew what was coming. "What happened?"

Holt looks at the ground, refusing to meet her eyes. He doesn't speak either, not sure if it would have really helped anything at all. Jackson had already done some things to try to keep him from doing this.

After a while of his silence, Mrs. Jekyll sighs. "You're doing this to yourself, aren't you?" she asks, her voice still quiet and gentle. Holt nods slightly at her, messing with his hands some. "Is there any reason why?"

"I don't know how to explain." Holt says quietly, finally meeting her eyes. There wasn't any good way to explain everything he thought and felt throughout the days. "Jackson knows too. I know he does and he's trying to make me stop." Holt's hands close into fists then and he closes his eyes tightly. "He's trying to help me when I've hurt him. Why does he do that?"

Mrs. Jekyll smiles sadly at Holt then, reminding herself to stay gentle with him, that he needs her to be calm. "That's how Jackson is. He wants to help you." she says quietly, meeting his eyes. "He's like this with all of his friends."

Holt looks away from her, not wanting to meet her eyes anymore. He doesn't try to speak, sure that his voice would break the moment he did and he didn't want that to happen at all. If it did, then he would end up beginning to cry and he didn't need that, not now.

"If you need anything, you can talk to me, okay?" Mrs. Jekyll says quietly before standing up and offering him her hand but he shakes his head slightly at her. "Come on, you need to eat something."

Mrs. Jekyll smiles more as Holt gets up and walks out of his room, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on before leaving his bedroom.

Holt was quiet as he eats, at least, even more so than he had been recently. Whenever Mrs. Jekyll would ask him about something, he answers with as little words as he could get away with. What was there for him to say to her anyway? She now knew what had been going on with him, so what else would she want from him right then?

Holt knew he had been hurting Jackson as well- why wasn't she mad at him for that? He knew that he would be upset if he was in her situation. He glances at her a couple times, the small smile falling from his face as he meets her eyes.

"Holt.." Mrs. Jekyll says quietly, looking at him with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything." Holt says quietly. He sighs, running a hand through his hair so he could hide the way his hands were shaking ever so slightly. "Why aren't you mad at me?"

"You're my son, of course I'm not mad at you." Mrs. Jekyll tells him, a small smile on her face. "I'm worried, that's all. I want you to be okay, and that's because I love you."

Holt nods slightly and sighs to himself. "Still, after Dad left and how.." he says quietly. "You say they're not all like that, so why do I expect it from everyone? Why do I still think it'll happen? How any love anyone shows me, I think is fake? I know part of it's because of him.."

"When you're younger, things can leave more of an impression on you. As you get older, you can get used to it, as bad as it is." Mrs. Jekyll meets his eyes, a sad smile on her face. "It's why you think it's normal for it to happen even if it's not. That it's one of the things someone does to show love."

"I'm trying not to be like him. I can't- if I hurt my friends, I wouldn't be able to take it. Just a shame I've already failed with that." Holt whispers, thinking about the fact that he had hurt Jackson. "I don't want to end up like him, hurting the ones I'm supposed to care about."

"Holt, you are not your father. It was his fault that he hurt us." Mrs. Jekyll tells him sternly although her voice was gentle for the most part. "I know you're not going to be like him and you know why?" she asks him and he shakes his head in response. "You know what's not right. You know you shouldn't hurt others and you care. You're not him, Holt."

Holt looks at his hands, not saying anything at all. His hands were shaking visibly then and he knew that Mrs. Jekyll could tell that much. Even then, he couldn't bring himself to care too much at all about it as there were other things on his mind.

 _Holt had thought that he was being quiet. That's what he was supposed to be doing, after all. His father had come back home from drinking even though his mother had thought that he was watching over Holt._

 _Still, Holt was able to hear his father's drunken footsteps stomping closer to his bedroom. He didn't make a sound, afraid that he would have made things worse for himself, growing more afraid as the footsteps got closer._

 _Holt flinches when the door opens, looking up to meet his father's eyes. He doesn't say anything still, afraid of what would happen if he does say something, knowing that it usually only did harm. Instead, he tries to make himself appear smaller, as if it was going to protect him against whatever his father had planned for him this time. He didn't even know what he had done wrong, which only makes him that much more afraid._

 _Holt tried to move away from him but doesn't get too far before he grabs Holt's arm and stops him from going anywhere. By then, Holt refuses to meet his father's eyes, especially after the hitting begins. Holt was sure that he would end up having bruises, if only he could get himself to explain how he got them._

 _The hitting continues for a while more, Holt remaining silent the whole time. He could feel his hands shaking, gripping at his shirt to make them stop, at least a bit. Why did things have to be like this? If only his mom would come in; he knew she could make this stop somehow._

 _Still, as soon as the car door closes, Holt's father pulls back away from Holt, telling him quietly not to say a word about this. Holt nods slightly at him- after all, who would believe him?_

Holt is broken out of his thoughts by Mrs. Jekyll's voice. "It's not your fault, okay? You're not going to be seeing him anytime soon and remember, he's scared of my Hyde." She then grins at him. "You're safe, Holt. Trust me, you're safe."

Holt nods slightly at that although he seems almost unsure of that. Safe? He sure hoped that that was true.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next several days, Holt had been watched over almost constantly as his friends slowly begin to find out what had been going on. He still wasn't talking nearly as much as normal but other than that, he did seem to be getting at least a bit better, at least he appeared to be. No new cuts could be seen but that didn't change the fact that he was still doing it. He had been doing a better job at hiding it now, knowing that the others finding out that he hadn't stopped wouldn't help. Everyone's worry would only get worse and that was the last thing that Holt wanted.

Of course, it didn't take Jackson long to find out and had started to write notes to Holt, leaving them in places that he was sure that he would be able to find them, like on his music book and the jar of pens that were on the desk in their room. No matter how much Holt pretended to be mad about this, he did appreciate what Jackson was doing. Of course, he knew that the other wanted him to be okay and saw that the others were worrying about him as well. No matter how much Holt didn't want any of the others to worry about him, he didn't know to fix it or who to turn to to help him fix it.

No matter how scary it was for Jackson, Holt couldn't deny that this was scary for him as well. No matter how much he tried to get himself back into his music, he couldn't make himself be happy anymore, leaving him in an almost constant state of frustration. It was beginning to get to the point where he doubted that he would be like he had been before this had happened but wasn't willing to say something about it although the others seemed to know, especially in the fact that someone would go over to Holt's nearly every day after school talking to him and doing whatever homework they both had. Sometimes it was one of the guys, while other days it was Draculaura or Frankie.

After a couple times of Frankie coming over after school, Holt had begun to open up to her much more easily than he did with everyone else. One day after school and Frankie was over, Holt had his head on Frankie's lap, her hand running through his hair. He was quiet for a while, not wanting her to stop what she was doing. He had his eyes closed, a small smile on his face, which Frankie was happy to see and sighed as it disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared.

"Frankie?" Holt asked quietly, his eyes still closed. "What am I supposed to do now? What do I do to get better when I don't even want to be alive because I couldn't do that to Jackson. I couldn't hurt him like that." He went quiet for a few more moments before speaking up once again. He was glad for the fact that he had kept his eyes closed as he felt tears form in his eyes; although he knew that he had cried in front of her before, he didn't want it getting in the way now. "If I die, so does he. He deserves to live so I can't do it."

Frankie placed a hand on Holt's chest, looking at him. "You let people in, that's what you do. Go get help and let people help you." she told him, gentleness in her voice. She was careful not to let any harshness appear in her voice, sure that it wouldn't help him any. "Let Jackson care, okay? He arranges this because he does and so do the rest of us."

Holt nodded slightly at Frankie, sighing to himself. Of course, he did know that Jackson did care about him but the reasoning why always confused him. He wasn't supposed to be the important one between the two of them and wasn't completely sure about what to think about it. Logically, he knew that Jackson was supposed to be the one recognized by most others and not him; how could he convince others of that? At the very least, Jackson had been the one that did what he was supposed to do and always seemed to know exactly what that was. That wasn't something that Holt was very good at most of the time and he wasn't going to try to deny it from anyone that he actually talked to.

Soon enough, Frankie ran a hand through Holt's hair once again, keeping her touch gentle. Holt allowed himself to relax slightly into her touch and, although Holt being quiet was still strange to Frankie, she was glad to see the peaceful expression on his face. It wasn't long at all afterward that he slowly began to fall asleep, his head remaining in her lap and her hand in his hair.

* * *

Jackson was confused to wake up a couple hours later, opening his eyes to see Frankie there. Even though he was confused, he couldn't help the smile that quickly formed on his face. Throughout everything, Jackson was glad that Frankie seemed so willing to help both himself and Holt.

"Your phone died a while ago so I plugged it in for you. I hope you don't mind." Frankie told Jackson as she handed his glasses. Jackson nodded slightly at her and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you feeling okay?"

Jackson looked at Frankie for a moment before smiling a bit more at her, hoping to reassure her that he was alright. He had let it slip not long before that there were times where Holt's emotions would pass on to Jackson and she hadn't forgotten it. He was glad that she was trying to make sure that he was okay but he didn't like the fact that she seemed to worry so much about both himself as well as Holt; he was sure that she would end up needing to take care of herself too and wanted to be sure that she would be okay.

"I'm okay. Definitely could be better but at least I'm still alive, you know?" Jackson told her, his own smile falls when he sees her look away from him and a worried look immediately replacing his smile. "What happened?"

Frankie looked up at Jackson, sighing to herself. "Holt told me that he wouldn't risk dying because it would kill you too." she told him, not wanting to keep this information from Jackson. She couldn't do that to him, especially since they did share a body. Jackson nodded slightly at Frankie, glancing at her for a moment and running a hand over his face. Even if Holt wouldn't kill them both, how did Jackson know that he was doing any better? It wasn't like he could easily talk to Holt, not with them sharing a body.

"Well I guess it's good that he's letting you know? It's something at least." Jackson said. He had known that there was something going on with Holt long before he had started cutting. He had also been the first to notice, especially since Jackson was able to know what Holt was thinking and noticed when his thoughts became darker by the day. In all honesty, Jackson was ashamed that he didn't say anything before anyone noticed, no matter what came out of everything.

"Hey. It's not your fault, okay? It's not your fault and it's not Holt's. Neither of you should have any blame for any of this." Frankie told Jackson, getting him to look at her. Jackson simply nodded slightly at her, sighing to himself. It was hard for him to not blame himself, believing that he should have done something before anyone else had noticed. "You're already doing a lot to help him and he knows it but the blame is not on you. All of us would agree on that, okay?"

"But I should have said something before you guys started to notice." Jackson told Frankie, finding himself unable to hide the fact that he was upset about all of this. He was so sure that there was something else he could have done, that there was something else that he could do that he wasn't sure that what Frankie was saying was true. How could she know that there wasn't something else that he could do about this? "I should have done something. Maybe it's not all on me but I still could have done something sooner."

Frankie shakes her head slightly at Jackson once again, sighing to himself. "No. It's not your fault, okay? I'm sure you're doing your best and that's what's really important here. I'm sure none of us blame you for any of this, okay? I promise." Jackson nodded slightly at Frankie, looking away from her. It was still hard for him to accept that it wasn't all on him but he wasn't going to bring it up again. He had know way to tell if it would make things worse for him, after all. Instead of trying to explain his point, he went quiet and glanced at her a couple times before looking away. Seeing this, Frankie laid a hand on Jackson's shoulder, smiling sympathetically at her. "It's not your fault, I promise. You were the one who started everyone helping him in the first place as well."

It was a moment before Jackson nodded slightly at Frankie, trying to accept that this was just how she saw this and wouldn't give up on that. "Yeah, okay. If you say so." he said, his voice quiet. He placed a hand on top of hers, smiling back at her and meeting her eyes. Words couldn't explain just how thankful he was for her being so stubborn about everything, for not giving up on him.

"I know you want to help and I can help you find other ways if you want." Frankie told Holt before smiling at him, hoping to reassure him that she would keep her word. At least, she had no intention to break it and, even further, his trust. That was the last thing she wanted to do as she knew that it would be the least helpful thing she could do while trying to help him.

"Maybe I can try to find some alternatives then? It's something I haven't been able to find too much because I don't know what will and won't work." Jackson told her, his voice calm. He immediately noticed that her smile only grew as he said that, hope filling his chest.

"I think that would be a great idea." Frankie said, meeting Jackson's eyes. Jackson couldn't help but grin when she said this, not complaining at all when she hugged him. He didn't even try to pull away from her, enjoying her warmth and not wanting to be separated from it so soon. After all, her hugs had always been some of the best that he had gotten from anyone.

A couple moments later, when Frankie pulled away from Jackson, she met his eyes once again. Jackson himself couldn't hold back a small smile. She had always been one of the easier ghouls to get along with since she had come to Monster High and he doubted that it would change anytime soon and he didn't want it to.

"Look some up, okay? I'll be looking some up as well." Frankie told Jackson, cupping his cheek gently. There was a certain gentleness to her eyes that he wasn't sure that he deserved but wasn't about to push her away now. At least, he couldn't deny that he needed the others there as well; all of this had been affecting Jackson as well and didn't want to be the one to mess things up for Holt. "You're not alone here. Neither of you are alone."

Jackson nodded slightly at Frankie, smiling at her. "Good. Thank you for this though." he said, taking her hand for a moment. "You know, if you wanted to talk to me about anything..."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it now, okay?" Frankie told Jackson before grabbing one of her textbooks. "We should probably start on some of these assignments. Is that good with you?" As Jackson agreed, the two started complete their assignments one by one, Frankie joking around a bit with Jackson and Jackson giving her one of the biggest smiles he had given anyone recently.


End file.
